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My loins ached with the knowledge that I was nursing a man to health that could become my companion and perhaps lover until spring arrived, and I knew he could help me leave this loneliness behind. At the very minimum, I would have someone to converse with as we endured the long winter nights if I could only nurse him back to health. Selfishly, I wanted him to live because I needed him to help me survive the winter. Obviously, my concern was the first time Jake needed to make a bowel movement, but I had another twenty-four hours to prepare, and by then the wound was improving. There was just the one bed in the house and I needed to get some sleep after treating him for 36 hours straight, so I shared the bed with him. Every day became easier and easier as his wound slowly healed, but after three days he started eating solid food and after seven days he was able to get out of bed to do his bowel movements alone, even though I continued to help him as he urinated. By the time Jake. I’d never heard her even say “darn” before, much less something hard.“What’s going on?” I asked.“I’ve just been really stupid, that’s all,” she sighed.“You’re the smartest girl I know,” I said.“Not when it comes to men,” she said.“Well, you’re obviously a virgin,” I said. “Why would you expect to know all about men?”I winced. I needed to just sew my mouth closed.She didn’t yell at me, though.“I’m not a virgin by choice,” she said. “Not exactly. I’m a virgin because I’m terrified of sex.”“Everybody’s nervous about it in the beginning,” I said.“I’m not nervous. I’m terrified. Sex ruined my mother’s life.”“Did she tell you that?”“No, but it was obvious. She never had a boyfriend after she had me. She never even went on a date. She absolutely refused to talk about my father, except to say he was a deadbeat who used her. She showed no interest in men whatsoever. What was I supposed to think?”“So you were terrified to go out with me because of my terrible masher ways,” I said.“No.”“No?”“I.
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